He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize