I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she looked like the before picture.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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