I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
