that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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