Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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