i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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