oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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