that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
