They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
