Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
