I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
