Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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