Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
