Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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