Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
