Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
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I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
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He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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