the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
