no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
