clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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