i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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