i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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