she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
