My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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