I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
