My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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