what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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