There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
