I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there was a trapeze. enough said
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize