We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
