No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
