If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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