Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
