jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
