end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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