I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
