I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm bleeding and have questions
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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