Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
