the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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