The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
