Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
