she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
