just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
