My nipple is on Facebook.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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