You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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