I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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