weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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