I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
