Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
