dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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