Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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