Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
