Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We're facebook friends in real life
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
