No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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