You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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