I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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