You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
