News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i out mim tonsoeep
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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