at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
