i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
