Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
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how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
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I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed