Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat