Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize