Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Soap is not a condiment

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  (805): Soap is not a condiment http://tfl.nu/gm1k
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  How did you manage that?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  lol... jersey girls rock

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  (203): How did you manage that? (860): Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis (203): lol... jersey girls rock http://tfl.nu/qjnw
  Replies (66) Good night (946) Bad night (2779)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.

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  (902): perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/cheb
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator

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  (503): The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator http://tfl.nu/5qfu
  Replies (37) Good night (453) Bad night (5227) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.

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  (318): Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume. http://tfl.nu/rs73
  Replies (31) Good night (4517) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

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  (267): while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life http://tfl.nu/pj1v
  Replies (16) Good night (7556) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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  (201): Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one. http://tfl.nu/7onj
  Replies (36) Good night (7771) Bad night (651)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.

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  (202): I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her. http://tfl.nu/d96s
  Replies (15) Good night (2829) Bad night (5515) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...

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  (770): Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well... http://tfl.nu/5d08
  Replies (3) Good night (1820) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??

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  (785): Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail?? http://tfl.nu/azi4
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check

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  (816): Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check http://tfl.nu/m7vz
  Replies (8) Good night (1464) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"

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  (204): So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you" http://tfl.nu/y1sq
  Replies (6) Good night (595) Bad night (2552) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.

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  (631): I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation. http://tfl.nu/bilr
  Replies (1) Good night (893) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.

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  (408): We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn. http://tfl.nu/p0jo
  Replies (18) Good night (1126) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"

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  (502): Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights" http://tfl.nu/0e71
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (248)

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