I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
