I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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